Marriage and Intimacy Tips for Christian Couples: Secrets of Happily Ever After

Healing Through Letting Go: The Surprising Link Between Forgiveness and Physical Health

• Monica Tanner and Hanna Kok • Season 4 • Episode 332

Share episode

Hanna Kok shares her expertise on the surprising link between forgiveness and physical health, revealing why holding onto grudges causes hormonal imbalances and weakens the immune system. We explore the scientific evidence behind this connection and discuss a practical method for making forgiveness easier.

• When we hold grudges, our muscles tighten, restricting blood flow and nutrient delivery throughout the body
• Brain function decreases dramatically during conflict—the prefrontal cortex (responsible for wisdom and problem-solving) can switch off up to 85%
• Stress emotions attach to cell receptors, triggering responses that put cells in overdrive and eventually lead to health problems
• Different organs are sensitive to specific emotions—the liver responds to anger, lungs to grief, and the gut to feelings of abuse
• Unforgiveness reduces energy available for immune function, making us more susceptible to illness
• The forgiveness method includes identifying what triggered you, recognizing what it reveals about your own healing needs, and seeing the situation as an opportunity for growth
• Practical techniques for releasing unforgiveness include journaling, mirror work, and meditation

For more information on improving health through forgiveness, download Hannah's app at hannahcook.com or visit ithrive.zone


Send us a text

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast. I'm your host, monica Tanner, and today I have a special guest for you. She is a new friend of mine, but when I learned about her expertise I knew I needed to share her with you. Hannah Koch is a qualified educational kinesiologist, allergy practitioner and medical intuitive. She speaks passionately about creating health without diet or lifestyle changes, revealing the often overlooked link between forgiveness and health, which is what I am so excited to talk about today. She works with women experiencing hormonal imbalances, guiding them to restore wellbeing without medication, hormones, surgery or lifestyle changes.

Speaker 1:

This is really exciting because I've always kind of had the suspicion that unforgiveness affects our health. Like some of the people I've run into in my life who tend to hold onto grudges, who are just kind of naturally feel like the world is against them or they have kind of a victim mentality. I've noticed that they're naturally unhealthy and, in kind of the most interesting ways, they hold on to weight, they get rashes, and so I have no proof of this theory of mine. But when I got your email I was so excited to explore this with you. Obviously, you have years of experience working with probably women in particular, on health and hormones, and so I really want us to talk about this idea of how unforgiveness can be negatively affecting our health.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, it's my favorite topic, so I am very grateful to be here with you and with your audience, and I also want to thank the audience for being here and taking time out of your day to listen to what I've got to say. I really appreciate that. Now people say well, how is this linked? Because normally when people have health problems it is diet changes, lifestyle changes, right. But as Einstein said, you cannot solve a problem on the same level as it was created. You have to go somewhere else. And if you deal with lifestyle and health food changes, then you are not on the level that you can actually make a real impact. Because what happens? Just think of it. Think of something that you really love. Maybe you're in your favorite holiday place with lovely people. I mean, you're starting to smile, right, you feel relaxed. I can see your face has changed completely. Now I want you to think, just to make a really horrible picture standing next to an open sewer and you smell what comes past, exactly. So let's scrap that one. But I just become a little bit aware of not only your face contracts, what else in your body contracted. Your whole body gets tight, right? So let's just go back to the holiday and then from there build on the rest of the podcast.

Speaker 2:

But you can see how your body instantaneously responds to your thinking. If you don't feel safe, your body starts to contract. What influence has that on how the body functions? There are so many on different levels, so let me explain the different layers, how the body is affected. There are so many on different levels, so let me explain the different layers. How the body is affected. By holding onto a grudge, as I said, the tightness of the muscles. This means that the blood flow to your organs and your whole body is limited, it's inhibited. That means that the nutrients can't go to the cells, the toxins cannot be removed so easily, can't go to the cells, the toxins cannot be removed so easily. They will still be removed, but it's like on a lower scale and if that goes on for a long time you're going to have problems.

Speaker 2:

Then you also have that large parts of the brain start to switch off, because if you are angry and upset, it is because you don't feel safe. You don't feel happy and you're not happy because you feel unsafe. Now the brain and the whole body goes into survival mode and of course it depends on how big. The issue is that you're dealing with how life changing. If it is a huge fight that you had with your partner and you may be going through an ugly divorce, that is, of course, way worse than if you stand next to that smelly sewer, right, that's gone when you leave that place or forget about it.

Speaker 2:

But when you're going through that ugly divorce, first of all, as I said, the brain, large parts of the brain, switch off. You know how you're left and a right brain person depending. Say you're a right brain person, the left brain is off. Now you don't have any or you lose to a large degree your ability to see details. You only see the big picture, you only see the drama. You only if it's the other way around you see, only remember the things that were said and you don't remember the bigger picture. Depending on if you're left or right brain orientated, then you have the prefrontal cortex. Now, the prefrontal cortex is where your wisdom lies, your problem solving capabilities and your ability to feel compassion, to put yourself in other people's shoes. These are the qualities you really need to solve a problem and that can switch off up to 85%. So, basically, you've got like a quarter of your brain left and it's like driving around with three flat tires and you wonder why you're so ineffective. So in that state it is extremely difficult to find a good solution.

Speaker 2:

Even a compromise. You can't even find that. You're beyond that. And we were talking a little bit.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I just I think about it in terms of relationships. You know, when we're triggered by our partner our fight, flight or flee response you know our amygdala takes over and, yeah, you're not coming up with any good solutions. You're not looking for any type of connection, you're like in self-preservation mode and it's a completely different part of your body that takes over, right? I mean, your bodily functions aren't even working the way they're supposed to, because every resource in your body is going towards protect yourself from the danger.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, and the higher functioning is switched off. Yeah, and that's why we behave really like Erotically. Yeah, I say it politely, but really we're not the way we want to behave. And then you look back. We're not the way we want to behave. And then you look back and you think did I do that? How is that possible? But it is possible because of our survival mode.

Speaker 2:

But there are other things that happen as well on a cellular level. When you are in that stress state, your body starts to produce stress hormones and then you also have that they are raging through your body hormones. And then you also have that they are raging through your body and each cell has receptors on the cell membranes and they even have receptors for specific emotions. So the stomach is more sensitive to, and the liver may be more sensitive to, anger, while the gut is more sensitive to a sense of abuse. And so each organ the lungs is with grief, so each organ is sensitive to particular emotions.

Speaker 2:

And when that emotion molecule because this lady can't think of her name right now, but she written molecules of emotion. So you have these emotions floating through your body, hook on the cell membrane and then will trigger stress responses within the cell, which basically goes in overdrive because it's about self-preservation, and then you're way more likely to shorten the lifespan of that cell if it's for a long period of time, because you don't automatically release that again. It takes time, you have to process it, you have to let go of the, you have to forgive or do something so that your body will release that molecule that keeps on triggering the cell and that's why people get sick, because they have these triggers on the cells. That is now keeping their cells in overdrive.

Speaker 1:

There's so many different directions. I want to go with this, but it's really interesting, fascinating to me. My children are actually doing something really difficult this summer. They are selling solar door to door in a different state. So they're in Minnesota right now. They're knocking door to door and both of my kids, my son and my daughter, have both gotten really sick over the course of the summer. And my son got sick first. He's newly married. He's been married for a couple of months and you know he's got his wife and then my daughter, that plus the whole team that he's kind of responsible for, and so he spent like two weeks in bed and he doesn't really get sick very often. But we were talking about it later and he just, you know my husband was like did, were you stressed, you know like, because that stress I think lowers your immunity, right, because that stress I think lowers your immunity right, and so it makes it so much easier for those cells to be attacked and weakened and you get sick.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, because there's another layer, which I'm glad you brought that up, about lowering the immune system. That is, on the energy distribution through the body. Because, say, you have 10 units of energy to spend for the day and four of those units is what you maybe use for running your life, your work, your family, etc. And six units it's approximately 60% of your energy goes to the maintenance and the running of your body. The brain, the nervous system, the immune system, digestive system, all these hormonal systems, all of these systems need energy to function.

Speaker 2:

Now, first of all, if we feel we have an external stressor, the immune system will go out, will be switched off, because now we have to fight an external fight.

Speaker 2:

And that's what we saw happening in COVID, because we were now made to believe it was an external threat, because everything was so dangerous and that's why people, the immune system, went down. But in the case of your son now he is stressed and he's worried for whatever reason, also the stress of having door to door, not knowing these people, what are they going to say and is he going to be judged and whatever, and so there's a lot of stress that takes up now, say, two of the units of energy. He still needs four units to run his life, but now, as I said, remember, the higher function is out the window. So doing the work takes a lot more effort because concentration is harder and all these thoughts running through your head makes it harder, and then you have maybe only four units left for the repair, restore and rejuvenate of the body, and the immune system will be one of those that will be compromised and makes you more prone than to getting sick.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. So the other thing you brought up when you were talking that I definitely wanted to address is this idea that when you're feeling extreme emotions which is what generally happens when you're holding a grudge, when you don't forgive somebody I mean, I can think of just a situation in my own life where I felt, I would say, misjudged. There was a woman in my neighborhood who was just treating me awfully Right, and so I would have these intrusive thoughts all the time, like why is she being like this? Why, you know, why is she so horrible? Like why can't I just get this out of my head, right, and it was.

Speaker 1:

It was sucking a lot of the energy that I needed to do other things in my life, like I'd be taking a shower, I'd be getting ready for a podcast interview or you know, about to work with a client, and all of a sudden I would just be like, oh, I'd feel these emotions surrounding this situation that I couldn't control, and so I had to process that, I had to let go of it and forgive, right, so now she can do whatever she wants and I am not affected by it anymore, because I've really processed those emotions, I've forgiven, I've journaled about it.

Speaker 1:

You know I've done all the things necessary to kind of process those emotions out, and so now I'm not affected by it. But I can imagine how, if you chose to hold on to that, if you don't forgive, if you don't know how to process those emotions really well, how it can just deteriorate your health. Like they say, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. And that's such a real visual to me, because when you're not forgiving someone, it's like you're literally drinking poison and that other person is completely unaffected.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, they might be a little bit affected, but the funny thing is we often. Well, why do people not forgive? Is a question to ask. Why don't they forgive? Different reasons, first of all, some think I'm punishing you by not by withholding my forgiveness. I'm punishing you. You couldn't care less. Maybe maybe you do, but maybe you don't.

Speaker 2:

It often happens that you're still stuck and the other person has got on with their lives and forgotten all about the incident, not even realizing, maybe, that they stepped on your toes the way they did. Yeah, but there's also a lot of people don't want to forgive because they feel it is a way of protecting themselves, it's a way of preventing it from happening again, because if I don't forgive, I will not forget. But you can forgive and not forget. I'm sure you're aware of it. Forgiveness does not mean that we have to let other people back into our life. It doesn't mean that we condone the behavior not at all but it is about setting ourselves free. But I teach a way of forgiveness that makes forgiveness a no-brainer. It makes it super easy.

Speaker 1:

Yes, I know you love to learn that method. Yes, and one thing I'll point out, just like why this is so important to like listen in right now, like take notes, like learn this method is because I have found in my life like the process of forgiveness and I've had there's been lots of people in my life, I've had the opportunity to forgive, but you really can feel it in your body, on a cellular level, like you're talking about, like being able to just release the pain, release the unforgiveness, release the anger and all of the emotions surrounding whatever you need to forgive. You really can feel it in your body.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but the method I am suggesting don't do it while you're still super angry, because if anybody suggests to do it when you're really angry, they'll clap you, they'll hit you because it's so like I don't want to hear it right now. So the method that I'm saying is first make sure you calm down, take a few deep breaths and let it subside a bit until you're ready to say OK, let me deal with this, because if I don't deal with it, it's going to consume me, right? So the first few questions are easy to answer. I first always ask a person imagine in a few years time, where would you like to be? You maybe have some ideas, you know, maybe with your business, certain amount of growth. Shall we do this with you?

Speaker 2:

You don't have to share your answers, you don't have to be personal, but it's always nice to work with a real example. Yeah, I'm an open book, let's go Right. So imagine in a few years time where would you like to be? And it can be specific, like I want to have so many followers on my podcast and this and business, and or it can just be like well, you know, I want to feel healthy. And it can be vague, it can be. It's not. Goal setting has to be precise and everything just an impression. Where do you want to be?

Speaker 1:

yeah, I would say in a few years I would like to be known for my book that's coming out bad marriage advice and be able to just kind of walk through the world freely, knowing that I am not for everyone, like not everyone is going to agree with all of the things I teach and talk about, but that's okay and that I'm showing up every day for the people who could potentially be helped by my work.

Speaker 2:

Okay Now what qualities do you admire in someone? And it's not putting them on a pedestal, it's just identifying what is the quality that they have. And let's name just one, for time's sake.

Speaker 1:

I really admire people that when you're around them, you just know that they radiate love around them. You just know that they radiate love, that they're intentional about their actions and whatever they're saying, even if it's something that's difficult to say, that they do the right thing out of love for you and the people around them. I think that's such an admiral quality because sometimes that requires doing very difficult things or having very difficult conversations or, you know, teaching a hard truth, but they do it and you know they're doing it out of love Right.

Speaker 2:

And maybe this is something I must ask your listeners in case you cannot answer it. But you know, monica, how many of that quality do you have already? How good are you at addressing a difficult topic with love, radiating love. How good are you at that?

Speaker 1:

Well, I hope that the answer is getting there. I mean, I work towards it definitely, so you know how much of it is actually, you know, come to fruition, I don't know, but I know that I work on it a lot and how good are you towards yourself with that.

Speaker 1:

I think I'm pretty forgiving of myself, actually, because I know that I make mistakes, I know that I changed my mind. I know that I'm not the same person. You know that I was 10 years ago, five years ago, five minutes ago, right Like this conversation here has helped me grow in ways that you know, big and small. So I think that I think I run on the assumption that when I know better, I do better, and I'm always looking to learn more, so I don't beat myself up for past versions of myself. I tried to just say you know what, you did the best that you could with what you had, and now you have more and so you do better. And this actually saying that out loud just made me realize that that has been the basis of me being able to forgive anyone and everyone in my life, like my parents, old friends, you know, my husband, my children.

Speaker 1:

I realized that everybody's on this constant process of evolution and I'm certain that people are doing the best they can with what they have. Some people have more and some people have less right. So, like you know my parents, they weren't perfect, but they tried and they did the best they could with what they had, and so I'm fine you know what I'm saying Like they didn't stunt my growth in any way, like they did the best they could, and you know my goal is to to build upon what they were they gave me and, you know, do better with what I have. So, um, I I think that's just the process of growing and being a human and doing the best you can, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Now, that quality of radiating love and sometimes it can just be that you sit and you just radiate love into the world, into whoever you're meeting and how much is that quality going to assist you to get with you, with being confident in yourself, where you, you know, knowing you have your market and you're not for everybody, and how much is that quality of that acceptance and love towards yourself and others going to help you?

Speaker 1:

I mean so much. I was just talking with a friend yesterday about you know people. People's opinions, people's perceptions, people's judgments have so much more to do with them than it does for you. So, yes, I put very sensitive topics and you know personal things about me online. We're talking about something pretty personal right now and you know personal things about me online. We're talking about something pretty personal right now and you know people can decide to feel however they want about that. That doesn't say a lot about me. It says more about them. And so I just kind of let them.

Speaker 1:

I love promoting Mel Robbins new book. Let them, because I do try to live my life that way, like I. Just people can think or feel however they want. That's really none of my business. I just have to let them and I keep keep doing what I know to be true. And if I'm on the wrong track and somebody wants to give me feedback, I have good boundaries and I'm definitely open to that feedback. But I also understand that their thoughts and opinions about me are there. It's about them. It's about them and it's kind of their stuff to figure out. But if people want to give me feedback, I'm happy to consider it too. Yes, yes.

Speaker 2:

Okay, now comes the harder questions, these two questions where people are always very happy to answer. The third and last part of this is think of that irritating behavior that you see in somebody, that maybe that neighbor, that was difficult for you to process. What was it about her? And if it's not about her, because, as we said earlier, it's all about ourselves and our perspective so what qualities did you see in her that triggered your emotions? Yeah you know your interpretation of her behavior.

Speaker 1:

So really I mean, yes, I realized that it's that we all act on the stories that we tell ourselves about other people and basically what she did was remove herself completely from my life. She didn't want me to talk to her, she didn't, you know, and we were really good friends. We were very, very close, we shared a lot of experiences and you know, we were together a lot, knew all about each other, all of those things Right. And then all of a sudden she just went cold, didn't want anything to do with me and really it was that unforgiveness.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I'm a relationship expert and so my, my thing is talking about feelings and emotions and what happened and how can we make this better? And you know it's it's repair. And I know we make this better. And you know it's it's repair. And I know, as has been my experience and with myself and all of the couples that I work with, that strength and resilience comes in that repair process. And so for her to not be willing to participate in that, you know, like let's just have a conversation about it. I'm not hard to talk to, right? Like I'm pretty easy to talk to, I'm pretty skilled in that area and so for her to just drop me like I meant nothing to her and ghost you, yeah, yeah, yeah, she definitely ghosted me right, and so for her to be able to just turn off like our friendship means nothing.

Speaker 1:

You know, I'm not going to have this uncomfortable conversation. I'm not going to forgive you, I'm not going to, you know, allow this to repair or whatever. Yeah, I don't operate like that. So it's just really difficult for me to accept, like okay, I guess the friendship is over and we're going to pretend like we don't know each other. Like that's just super odd for me right.

Speaker 2:

So now the harder question is then well, there's two ways we can ask the question. First of all, you can check is there any topic in your life, any area in your life where you're not willing to talk about with yourself, that you're struggling to address? You know it can be. Let me give a little example. So like I was irritated with negative people and then I thought, well, I'm not negative. And then I realized, oh, but I'm negative about this part in my business or I'm negative about this relationship.

Speaker 2:

This little piece, it can be a pocket, doesn't have to be a big thing. And the other thing is you can also ask yourself otherwise. Pretend you could give her advice, pretend you know you're not going to talk to her. What advice would you have given her?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, I mean, at this point, it's been years, and so the advice I'd give her is like, move on. Right, like you've isolated yourself by by uh, you know cutting off any friendship where anybody did anything that you deemed not acceptable. Right, and so to me is we're all humans, we all make mistakes. Like if, if I've hurt you or you know done something that you didn't like, let's talk about it. Right, like at this point, like I said, I I feel like I have gone through the process of forgiveness and I feel sad for her. Like, like you know, you're you're isolating yourself, you're you're cutting yourself off from from friendships that are super healthy, and you know, I like I just would say that's, that's a hard way to live your life. You know you're going to wake up one day and be like I don't have any friends, but this is my own fault, and so I just I do feel sad for her. So the advice I would give is like, put yourself out there, like, have the uncomfortable conversation, like, give people a break.

Speaker 2:

Your pride.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I feel like for me it's like give me a break, like you know, in my situation but I know there's lots of others that she's treated the same way but for me it's like give me a break, like if, if, if I did something wrong, like give me a break, like, like, like, confront me about it, like let's talk about it, like I want to hear your feelings about it, but you just ghosting me and cutting me off is not doing anything for anyone.

Speaker 1:

So, you know, I'm not perfect. I don't claim to be perfect. I will apologize for my part in whatever it is, but we can't move forward unless you just, you know, talk to me. So, and I've said and there's multiple people who are kind of in the same scenario and we're all like if she just knocked on our door and said, hey, I'm pissed about this, this and this, I'd be like cool, come in, let's chat. You know, but she never will, you know, I don't think she ever will and it's really, really sad. She removed herself now from so many friendships that I mean I don't know what she's up to.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, now that you say this happened already quite a few years ago, so you have grown a lot since then, yeah, so let's look at how you were then, um, because then you can see. Well, maybe, how did you have in that time of your life, maybe a tendency to withdraw instead of communicating? Um, how much do you have maybe in your own life an area that, as I said, you're not willing to discuss? You just like encapsulate it and keep it aside and a closed thing.

Speaker 1:

so I think back then I, it felt abandoning to me, like her ghosting me and you, you know it, it did trigger my abandonment wounds, like how could she do this to me? Like, I think, trigger a lot of that, and now I can just be like, oh well, you know, that's really sad that that friendship is not there anymore. But it really doesn't have a lot to do with me, cause I'm open, you know, and I'm an open book and you know I'd love to hear the feedback of you. Know I wouldn't say I didn't do anything wrong, but at this point I'm like I mean, I can't fix what I'm not aware of.

Speaker 1:

So if you're not willing to share with me what I did then exactly, but you said something very important.

Speaker 2:

She triggered your abandonment wounds right and working through your emotions. How much did that help you to release some of those abandonment wounds?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean it's been so helpful. Like I said, I can feel that in my body. I can, you know, especially with my husband, I can tell. He can now tell, because I have very physical signs when I'm feeling abandoned or wounded. And so we have come up with now the two of us have come up with cool phrases like I choose you or I'm not going anywhere, or you know things that he can physically do or say that helps calm my nervous system, like I know it's up to me but I want to take it a step further.

Speaker 2:

This is what I say to my clients teach my clients to do, because when there are abandonment issues, there is self-abandonment, and so what I do is when I feel like stressed or that abandonment is triggered, I say you know what? No matter what happened there, I still love me and I still support me, Because that self-confirmation, that self-nurturing is so powerful and it's wonderful if you have a partner that can do that for you. But can you imagine if you could stand by yourself like that whenever your abandonment is triggered?

Speaker 1:

You're right, it's so powerful and ultimately it is up to me. It's up to me to reparent that little child inside of me that gets really scared that the people who love her are going to abandon her, and that is part of the conversation I have with her. Monica, I am here.

Speaker 1:

I am not going anywhere, you will never have to be alone. And so that's big adult Monica talking to little scared Monica. Big adult Monica talking to little scared Monica. But it is wonderful to have been able to be able to communicate that to my husband and have him participate in that process to know that little scared Monica comes out and he, you know, can be super helpful by saying things like I'm not going anywhere, I choose you, you know we're in this together.

Speaker 1:

That is so affirming and I'm so appreciative of him. But ultimately, I do know that that is my job.

Speaker 2:

Right now. She basically made you aware again because you probably were aware of it, but on another level of the abandonment, and she managed to give you an opportunity to let go of some of your abandonment issues. Yes, and for that I should be grateful, exactly Because when you release those abandonment issues, how is that going to help you to reach your goals where you want to go? Yeah, when people say you're not for me, yes, you're not my, you know.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yes. So this is interesting because it does get a little bit religious or spiritual, but I do believe that Jesus came here to teach us how to love people who are hard to love, how to love people who are hard to love. And so, yes, this particular woman gave me the opportunity to figure out how to love someone who, for me, is very hard to love. So I did, I had to let go of all of it and I had to say you know what? I love her, even though you know she did give me a very nice opportunity to re-explore my abandonment issues. But you know, wherever she is and whatever she's doing, I I love her and I wish her the best and I hope that she does at some point learn how to forgive, because it is really it's.

Speaker 1:

It's destructive, probably to her health, right, I mean that's why we started this podcast, and so I'm not going to let it affect my health Like I am like nope, I care too much about my health mentally and physically to let this just fester inside of me. But I do wish the best for her and I hope that she gets to a place where she can understand that as well.

Speaker 2:

I totally agree with you. Now, as you brought Jesus up, I have a quote that I like to live by, and this is basically the principle that I was sharing here with you is you know, don't try to remove the speck from somebody else's eye. Remove the beam from your own eye first, and so, when you realize, oh, she's triggering my abandonment issues, let me work through my abandonment issues. Thank you so much, because this is what I need to let go of so I can reach my goals. Now forgiveness becomes a no-brainer because you received gold, and then the forgiveness is especially towards self. To still be with abandonment, needing her to reflect back to you that you still have abandonment issues, and forgiving her a little bit, that's easy because she's just given you gold. So that's how I do the forgiveness.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love that. It's so beautiful and it's so true. I mean, all of what you just said is, you know, remove the beam from our own eye because, in reality and this is what's really hard, I think, for most people is that that's all we can control. Anyways, I can't control the speck in her eye or whatever. It is right. I can only work with myself and how I'm viewing the situation. Ultimately, the story, I'm going to tell about it, right, like I I'm sure in the process of us speaking right now, I said a few things wrong or you know whatever, and that's okay, because I know that I can only work on myself.

Speaker 2:

And it's also okay to sometimes be really angry with somebody or really upset with somebody. It's a starting point and it's so important to acknowledge how we feel, that we are upset and hurt and we want to punch somebody in the face.

Speaker 1:

that is that happens sometimes and it's okay, we don't act on it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know, as long as we don't go and punch somebody in the face, we can punch a pillow if we have to, but to acknowledge how you feel is such an important step. And then I mean you have techniques, breathing techniques, or I like a process of holding these emotional stress release points on your forehead, tapping. It doesn't matter what you use. I was talking to somebody today. He says well, he likes to pray and hand it over. I said and he thought he was starting now a serious, you know almost a debate. I said I don't care how you let go, as long as you let go of it. He says that was a good answer. You know, it is about letting go and it doesn't matter if you do it by standing on your head or tapping or whatever what works for you, as long as you let it go. And then you can analyze it and learn from it and say thank you very much for what you've given me and move on.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I love this discussion and so I want to kind of wrap it up by giving the listeners a couple of ideas of how to just release. You know, kind of look at yourself, like if you're seeing manifestations of unforgiveness in your health. What are a few things Like I'll I'll tell you. For me, it's really helpful to journal about it and like just knowing that nobody's ever going to see it, even if I write out all my thoughts about it and then rip it up and burn it or throw it away, whatever I need to do. But it really helps to kind of see my thoughts about it, because when I'm, you know, when they get stuck in my brain, I'm thinking about in the shower or I'm just it's kind of like on a loop until I put it down on paper and I'm like, okay, all, right, now I can work with this.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, I agree with you there. I personally, I do agree that you need to make time to sit with it. Yes, so doing it in the shower, letting the feeling diffuse, and then, if I'm upset with somebody else, I'll do this mirror work, and then that's my way of dealing with it and forgiveness myself and others, but especially myself, for needing that mirror. That's how I process it and how do I know I need it If I don't feel good if.

Speaker 2:

I'm unhappy. Yeah, if you can't sleep at night, that's the first indication that something is bugging you and your brain is giving you extra time to figure it out. So not being able to sleep can be a good sign that there's something troubling you, and rather get up and ask and explore what is keeping me awake, because once you've processed it, you'll sleep like a baby.

Speaker 1:

So good. Another great option is working with somebody like you or me to help you verbally process and kind of work through whatever emotions are coming up for you the unforgiveness. You know, the story that we're telling ourselves about it. Hannah, this has been awesome. Thank you so much for joining me today. Will you tell the listeners how to find you work with you? I know you have an app. That's really cool.

Speaker 2:

Yes. So if you go to hannahcockcom, you'll get either access to my app or the meditation that I have, and if the meditation is there, you probably also get the app as well as a second option to choose and then you'll be on my mailing list and you'll have immediate access to me as well. But you can also go to ithrivezone Great app for improving health and especially hormonal health, but there are other subjects there as well. But especially if you're now struggling with physical health complaints that you either don't want to use traditional medicine or you want to do something on the side with it complimentary, or you've tried it and it's not working for you, then please contact me, because I love working with getting to the root cause of your physical health problems and especially your hormonal health problems.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much and we'll talk to you again soon. Thank you for this opportunity.