Marriage and Intimacy Tips for Christian Couples: Secrets of Happily Ever After

How to Be Seen with Entrepreneur Power Couple Jen Gottlieb and Chris Winfield

• Monica Tanner, Jen Gottlieb, Chris Winfield • Season 3 • Episode 248

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What if your relationship could be the secret to a booming business? In a fascinating chat with the sensational duo, Jen Gottlieb and Chris Winfield, I'm uncovering the secret to BE SEEN. This extraordinary couple, not only share a beautiful love story but also a multiple eight-figure business. Their journey, marked by challenges and victories, is a testimony to what a supportive partnership can achieve. This episode is a special one as it also features the launch of Jen's new book, BE SEEN, a must-read for anyone seeking to enhance their visibility in business and relationships.

Our conversation goes beyond business success and delves into the dynamic personal life of Jen and Chris. We talk communication, accountability, vulnerability, and juggling the demands of work and play. As mentors, they have made a significant impact on many entrepreneurs' lives, and their approach provides a unique roadmap for those seeking harmony in their relationships. Discover how they maintain their energy levels while remaining constantly in the spotlight and learn the importance of supporting one another’s goals in a partnership.

We wrap up this episode with an enlightening discussion on personal branding, decision-making, and maintaining fulfilling relationships. Jen and Chris offer invaluable strategies on how to consistently show up in business and relationships, how to sail through life's challenges using the mantra 'this too shall pass', and how to harness the power of AI and storytelling to make an impact.  So get ready for a riveting conversation that promises to redefine how you perceive intimate relationships and entrepreneurship.

Get a copy of Jen's new book, BE SEEN --> https://beseenbook.com

Download a FREE resource on How to Get More Support from Your Spouse --> https://secretsofhappilyeverafter.com/spousesupport

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Speaker 1:

Have you ever wondered what makes the difference between those couples who absolutely love to be together and the ones who merely tolerate each other in their old age? Hi, I'm Monica Tanner, wife to a super hunky man, mom to four kids, relationship coach and intimacy expert. My goal with this podcast is to help you and your partner swap resentment for romance, escape the roommate rut and nurture a bond built on trust, communication and unconditional love. Each week, I'm sharing the secret strategies that keep couples madly in love, dedicated and downright giddy about each other from the honeymoon phase to the golden years. I'm on a mission to crack the code of happily ever after, and I'm sharing those juicy secrets right here, because an awesome marriage makes life so much sweeter. Let's get to it.

Speaker 1:

Today. It is my honor to introduce to you Jen Gottlieb, powerhouse entrepreneur, international speaker, host of the Idare you podcast, author of Be Seen and co-founder of Super Connector Media, an award-winning training events and online education company. With a successful five-year stint as a VH1 host and a career as a Broadway actress, jen has been making waves in the entrepreneurial world by teaching business owners how to profit and how to build profitable brands and become the recognized expert in their field. As a sought-after speaker, jen has shared the stage with top thought leaders and celebrities, including Gary Vandechuk, marie Foilier, david Goggins, gabby Bernstein, eric Thomas, emmett Smith, snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart. Her work has been featured in Forbes, business Insider, maxim Goop, women's Health and dozens of other major publications. Jen's company, super Connector Media, was recently listed on Inc 5000's list of fastest growing private companies in America, and Jen herself was named as one of the top 50 speakers in the world by Real Leaders Magazine. Despite her many accolades, jen remains a true New Yorker at heart and shares her Manhattan home with her husband, chris, and their three adorable dogs, tammy, teddy and King Arthur.

Speaker 1:

Chris Winfield is the founder of Understanding AI, an educational platform dedicated to making AI easy. Hay vision, a platform that educates and empowers individuals and organizations to embrace AI technologies, and co-founder of Super Connector Media, where he's trained over 40,000 business owners on how to build their brands, leverage AI and become the recognized expert in their industry. As a sought-after speaker, expert commentator and consultant, chris has worked with some of the biggest brands in the world, such as Disney, intuit, condé Nast, virgin, macy's, viacom, nbc Universal, and has shared his insights with companies like Google, microsoft and Apple, as well as numerous industry conferences and events. He's been featured in over 200 media outlets, including NBC News, the New York Times, fox and Friends, abc News, the Today Show, forbes, and his columns have appeared in Inc, entrepreneur Time, fast Company and Business Insider, just to name a few. Chris also lives in New York City with his wife and business partner, jen Gottlieb, an amazing daughter and three crazy dogs.

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to the secrets of happily ever after podcast. I'm your host, Monica Tanner, and I am so excited for our episode today. I have special guests with me today Jen Gottlieb and Chris Winfield. They have not only been mentors to me, but also they are brilliant at helping business owners and entrepreneurs create and build their brands using AI and PR. And not only that, but they are also just a really, really cool couple, so I've invited them here today to talk to us about their monumental business success, as well as how they juggle and prioritize their family life and all the things. Thank you, guys so much for being here. How are you?

Speaker 2:

Of course we're so happy. Anytime we can spend time with you is better, that's for sure.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I love that. Well, I want to talk about how you guys juggle business and your family life, but I also am so excited to talk about Jen's new book, be Seen, which is totally like launching into the world this week. I can't believe. I'm so excited. I've been watching the process so, so closely, and what I want to focus today on as we chat is I've read it cover to cover and it's so good. Obviously, if you have a message that you want to get out into the world, this is how you can be seen. But because I am who I am, I obviously read this as well and relate it to relationships. So there's so many good frameworks in here that also talk about how to be seen in your relationship. So I'm also going to ask you about that. Sound good.

Speaker 2:

Love. It Sounds good. It launches tomorrow.

Speaker 1:

Yes, when this drops, it will have launched yesterday, but yes, oh wow, this week, this week, oh, so excited.

Speaker 2:

I got my email this morning from Amazon. I just probably ordered one there just for whatever, and I got the email today and it said your book at your, your shipment, has launched. It's coming. Yeah, it was really cool.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my gosh, can't wait. Well, I've got this copy and I've got a few more coming, so we're just going to make it awesome and all the things. So my first question, because I want my audience to really get to know you, and everybody loves a good love story and so when you read this book it's you get to hear Jen's experience and a lot of the ways you kind of had to grow into Jen 2.0 and the obstacles that you overcame to be ready to find and accept this great love. But I haven't really gotten to hear Chris's side of the story. So since I have you together today, I would love to hear from both of your perspectives how you met, fell in love, went into business together, got married and now run this multiple eight figure business together.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so if you want to start with me like, I sure so you know I had been married for I don't even know a long time and it wasn't, you know, his marriage. It just wasn't the right marriage and it wasn't a right thing. And I got separated in 2017, like February of 2017. And I realized, like and I didn't go out and start like just dating, going crazy or anything. I actually did like the exact opposite, like I realized that I needed to do a lot of work on myself, like a lot of inner work, and I, you know that's what I focused on. I focused on growing my business at the time and doing inner work, like like lots, like I would journal so much like where we were going through these drawers and we have just, we have just journal out there, journal out there journal. I used to write, you know, three pages handwritten every single morning and you know, just did all this different stuff. And I, you know I would date very infrequently, just like if something was convenient, I guess it was the best way, and but I, and then I actually started working with someone, like a close, close friend of mine who would like to look at, like the, the blocks that I had put up because I had this, I had this belief that I could not be in a healthy, fun, romantic relationship Like I, just because my parent, growing up it was very, very I grew up in a very chaotic household, to put it nicely, and I, you know, so, I didn't see a, you know that there, I didn't see it with, you know, any of the relationships that I was having, because it's like there was like things that were I learned earlier on, so I was putting myself in just like just terrible relationships where I would just be terrible as well.

Speaker 2:

Anyway, so I got, I got healthy in terms of being, you know when, like the work that I needed to do, and then, really, I think I was at that point where I was also ready to get in a relationship, but I wasn't like like actively looking for that. And Jen reached out to me on Facebook and friend requested me oh, yeah, yeah, and did I reach out to you first? Okay, so I, you know, I was like, oh, wow, okay, this is better than the, the 50 guys that just tried to read request, you know, the marketing guys. So I, I wrote her back. I didn't write her back, wrote her, I just probably just said, hey, what's up? Or something like that, right.

Speaker 3:

I can find exactly what you said. I think you said hey, jennifer, or something, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Her name was Jennifer on Facebook. What's wrong with that Just?

Speaker 3:

remembering like that's how, like we, like, knew nothing.

Speaker 2:

I didn't find it.

Speaker 3:

It was like something about keep going.

Speaker 2:

And so, anyway, we just started going back and forth and I really like I don't have, I don't have game, I'm not that person. So I just was like talking normal, and then she basically asked me out or asked to get together. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 3:

I said are we ever going to meet up?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

The ironic thing was he didn't know so and I didn't realize what was really going on. I didn't think we were flirting or anything. I just I thought that he was someone I needed to connect with for business.

Speaker 3:

That was like the message that I got from the ex-boyfriend that ironically told me to follow him and friend request him. But I was at my Thanksgiving dinner table on this day when we were DMing under the table and I remember saying to my parents, like they were all like when are you going to meet someone? Like have you met? Like they were all like yeah, thanks for connecting.

Speaker 3:

Looks like we have some great friends in common, jennifer, yes, we do. You work out at Equinox Sports Club, right? Yeah, you too. Yep, just came back after not being there for a few years. Nice, are you on the Upper West Side? So it was lame. But he just kept trying to chitchat with me so I was like so, so, neighbor, we should definitely connect in real life. One of these days.

Speaker 3:

And he said, yes, definitely At Equinox next week. I said I will be, but on there at weird times like pick a time he's like I'm usually at weird. There are weird times too. What is that face? Face with a tongue out Before we could grab coffee or something. Wednesday before three is completely open for me as of now. Let me know what works for you, and we were going to get coffee at one PM on Wednesday Perfect. By the way, monica, no one's ever read this before.

Speaker 1:

So you have the exclusive. The cool thing about this is if you've heard you speak or if you read this book. These are like details that nobody gets.

Speaker 2:

We've never shared this.

Speaker 3:

It's juicy Great, and you are on the Upper West Side works for me, and he said aroma which is like a restaurant right around here. That's over there. Also, my mobile is, if we can switch to text. I have a love hate relationship with Facebook Messenger, so we did.

Speaker 2:

So and then it was really nice that day. So I was like I think I texted you and said let's go for a walk in Central Park instead. And we did, and I was late, so but a little bit, and I came up to her, so nice out, and it was like I thought, just like a cool, just thing, and I was like who's luckier than us? And she was just like what? And yeah, from there it was pretty much on, I don't know. I was like after that I was pretty much like yeah, that's, that's the girl for me. Like I didn't, there was no like question, there's no questioning it.

Speaker 1:

I love that.

Speaker 2:

And then I asked her, I asked her out for another like over the weekend, on Saturday, and she said no, she said Sunday, and I was like really bothered by that.

Speaker 3:

Now that I know him, I know how bothered. But Monica, I was reading not your mother's rules, I'm sure you know it, and I was having such bad luck with dating I was like, screw it, I'm going to do this rules thing, like I'm going to play this game. And so they said to like wait to respond and like don't be so available. So I said I'm not free on Saturday, it's like the next day. I was like no, it was a couple days.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Well, and I said I wasn't, and it was probably intriguing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and then we went to this place. It was that no meditation place. I started to go there. This is really really cool place and we did a meditation. Yeah, well, I don't know if it was a day.

Speaker 3:

That was a day. Yeah, that one was. The walk in the park was a day. The second one was a day, and then after you took me to dinner and then we walked all the way home.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

And when we walked all the way home it was so crazy because we walked like through Times Square and my activity as a single woman was walking around New York City pretending I was walking with my husband Like that was my weirdo activity that I would do and I would literally just like now I call Wonder Walks there in the book of the thing, and I would envision walking with him like down this exact streets, like all the way from downtown to uptown and up on the side. And here we are walking the exact route and like I'm like this is crazy and it's just like that was it that night? Like that was like, it was like we're getting married kind of thing. It was like that was from that day on.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Definitely. I love it. Just so you know, chris, one of my favorite sentiments and I do talk to my clients about this is who's luckier than us? Like? I feel like that is the foundation for such a great relationship, if you can think at all times, even in hard times, who's luckier than us, right?

Speaker 2:

So I did that this morning. I was listening to, I was working on, I was listening to some song and, oh my God, I wish I remembered what song it is. It's going to drive me crazy and it kind of talking about oh, next next to you, and the whole thing is like it doesn't matter, like what's going on, like as long as I'm next to you, like it's really, it's great. I didn't think that this song is OK, but it made me think of that.

Speaker 1:

So you guys are both incredible in your own rights. But, Jen, like, you've got some really big, audacious goals, like writing a book, becoming the most sought after females motivational speaker, and you're totally doing it. So my question for you is this what are some of the things that Chris does to support you throughout the process that really mean a lot to you? And then I want to hear from Chris what is it like for you to be there for gendering all of this the good, the bad and the ugly moments that most of us don't get to see?

Speaker 3:

I wouldn't be doing any of this if it wasn't for Chris. He let the fire under me. He pushes me when I don't want to do the uncomfortable thing. He opens doors for me from the very beginning, when I was, he met me. I was a personal trainer and I was transitive, transitioning into online coaching and building an actual remote business, and he pushed me to let go of my clients. I wouldn't have, I would have stayed in that limited scarcity mindset. He was like when are you getting rid of the clients? When are you getting rid of them? Like, pushing me and every single step of the way, not only did he like give me the tools and connect me to certain people, it's like I have my own personal, like you know what Chris does for people. Like I have my own personal Chris would feel, and that's been my superpower, like that's been the thing that's helped me more than anything in the world. He and it's very I find it's very rare to see like Chris was the face of this.

Speaker 3:

What I meant it was his company. He was the face of the brand and when we decided to become partners like he took a step back and like his ego aside and like lifted me up and pushed me to the front and gave me like and supported me. And just like lifted me up and like wanted me to have spotlight. And that is so rare. You don't find that?

Speaker 2:

every day.

Speaker 3:

You don't find that hardly ever. And then not a day goes by that I don't like. When I was manifesting love, I was at the same time. I was like I want to have this amazing career and I want to be an entrepreneur and I want to be successful, but I never knew that like they were both going to come together from one person. And he supports me every day.

Speaker 3:

He's my biggest fan and and, at the same time, as much as he's my biggest fan and always like thinking of ideas for me and wanting to support me and like give me. Like he also pushes, and sometimes I resist the push. In fact, we joke because a lot of the times I resist the first push. So he'll tell me that I should do something and if I get uncomfortable by it or scared by it, I'm like no, I'm not doing that and I'll push back and he gets so mad we'll get to a fight, but then I'll always end up doing the thing. It just takes me a few minutes.

Speaker 3:

So like realize I just resisted that and he's pushing me because, because he knows it's best for me and every time I do the thing that Chris tells me to do, it always works out in my favor, but he's helped me push my comfort zone in a place where I just feel so supported but also like I'm stretching at the same time. So I mean I love it. Like for the record, I would not be here, where I'm at or where I'm going, if it wasn't for the guidance that he's given me, the support that he's given me, the push that he's given me. He is like my ultimate mentor and partner in all this.

Speaker 2:

He loves that?

Speaker 1:

What was the question?

Speaker 3:

for me.

Speaker 1:

What's the experience like for you? I mean, you married this incredible powerhouse woman who is capable of more than she even probably ever realized so what is that like for? You to just love it, to be that support for her.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I don't know, I just saw um so interesting to think about that. I don't even remember her, jen, as a trainer anymore or as like the group or any of that. Like it just it's so wild that it just feels so far away. Um, and you know the when we became partners and you know there's so many people that gave me shit or were like you know, like, oh weird, that's just because it's you know, your girlfriend or you know whatever, and just and like I just laugh at all these people now, um, because I knew that you know how amazing she was and how great she could be.

Speaker 2:

And, you know, with giving up being like the face of the company, yeah, it's simple, because she was better at it. Like, you know, that's what I would explain to people. I'm like it's actually very smart moving, um, because who cares where? You know, like, what somebody comes from, or, um, you know what their experience was before, because she had experience that you know I didn't have tv and this stuff. So yeah, I mean it's been really, really cool to be able to watch and be a part of it. And you know also, um, you know how it's it's helped me, it's how it helps me and helps our company, it helps everything.

Speaker 2:

Um, you know, it's not like Jen's not a. You know, look at me, just, I'm the only one doing this type of person. So, um, you know, it all kind of reflect or goes all around, um, and I think that that's. You know, just something that a lot of times people miss like that, jen going and speaking, you know, to 7000 people, you know results in, you know, uh, you know five people coming to our event. You know, and you know one of them paying 25 000, one of them paying 100 000. You know what I mean. Like this, it's not just like, look at me, um, and I think that that's the, you know the, the, and it's actually way more game from that. But I was just trying to use as an example. But, um, yeah, so I, I think that it's um, to me it's like it's easy, it's like I've been writing copy like all morning, like I'm like for, you know the for her, you know the book launch and stuff like that.

Speaker 1:

And um, you know, as Jen, like copywriter, and you know, and I'm happy to do it yeah, well, that's one of the things I love about you as a couple and why I really wanted to have this discussion with you two, specifically because you are so supportive of each other and you work as a team so well, and your goals are actually pretty different.

Speaker 1:

So I want to explore this a little bit. From what I know, I mean you know as an outsider, I see you know Jen has the goal of writing this book and being number one motivational speaker right, and you want to start AI companies, like in the middle of the night, right, and so like. They're different, for you have different goals, um, and I'd love to be on a fly on the wall when one of you has, like, a really big idea that requires a significant investment of time and money, and I know this is a challenge for many couples they that they don't often want to share their big dreams with each other for fear of not getting the support that they need. So what does this look like for you guys, and what would you say to someone who feels the pull to do something really big but isn't sure how to share it with their partner or their spouse?

Speaker 3:

Well, for us it's kind of like part of who we are that we share big dreams with each other. It's part of our relationship. I guess it's always been like such a great part of fear. I understand that that's not the case for a lot of couples, but for us it's like I get an idea and it's the first person I want to tell is him Like it doesn't matter if it's a good idea or if it's a bad idea?

Speaker 3:

Most of the time they're bad ideas and I'm just like we should do this and usually I'm screaming we should do this from the other room and he's trying to do something and then I get on his nerves but it's like I have to tell him the second that it comes to my mind. And that's just how we are and that's like part of our culture. As a couple, we like to dream big together, like the book was only born. Because I woke up, I opened my eyes and I said to him I'm writing a book right.

Speaker 3:

And I was like hold me accountable. It was the first person I had like the second. I got the idea I'm writing a book. It's starting now, immediately. The process started in that second, immediately he was like all right, who are we going to introduce you to? To get the ball moving, and it happened within a week.

Speaker 2:

We got to get an agent, yeah all the things.

Speaker 3:

So, but what I would say to couples that are afraid that their partner isn't going to support their big dream man? I mean, you probably know this better than me, monica. Like you are a relationship counselor. I'm not clearly not an expert in relationships, but what we really like to do is, like, when we go, we go to our mocks a lot, and when we go on walks, it helps us communicate. And sometimes we get stuck in a rut and we can't really communicate with each other. But a lot of the times, like when we're moving, walking, we'll be able to, and we'll always start with, like, where are you grateful for? We'll talk about what we're grateful for, about each other, and then, like you know, what are you excited about? And we just open up a conversation, and walking always helps. But I mean, like I think that it's like opening the communication in other ways and then and then kind of slipping it in.

Speaker 3:

What would you say, chris?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I guess the question was like to people who don't like I can't even imagine that, you know, and I do see, I know that that comes up, but I think that that's like, I think that obviously it's a bigger issue, right? Because, yeah, from it's the same exact thing as Jen, like I'll, I'll tell her immediately before anyone else, and we both have a lot of ideas and she, like she said, a lot of them are wrong, a lot of them are terrible, but I don't think for the most part, we don't really ridicule or do anything to. You know, when somebody's idea was wrong, even when it was expensive.

Speaker 3:

So yeah, we've had expensive ideas go wrong yeah part of it A lot.

Speaker 2:

You know I was talking about this you at the mastermind day, you lose a lot more than you win. So yeah, but we and we're both. She's a nine quick start, I'm a 10 on the Colby, and so we have a lot of ideas and we want to take action on them fast. Now she was probably like a two or three, which means that it can change, because she was like like slow, like it was really crazy how slow she was, and you know when now it's like you can't stop me.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it's just from being around him. He's influenced me in so many ways and I think that that, like I guess that that's what happens when I'm so grateful for it. Now it's like let's go, let's move on it fast. And you got an idea, let's do it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker 1:

What's interesting is, I feel like you're describing that this is my next question, but I feel like you're talking about the confidence continuum a little bit, which is a concept that you teach in this book, and so I feel like maybe you could like give us a little sneak peek of the confidence continuum but how that applies to really being seen like sharing your heart and soul with your partner, your goals and things like that, and then like what happens if you kind of keep doing it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, well, I mean, there's so many scenarios where he just forced me to take that first action. So the confidence continuum is all about like you take the little action stuff it could be teeny, teeny tiny and you get that little win. And that little win gives you a little bit of momentum and motivation. Take the action step again and then you take that next action step with a little less fear and then you get a big win and then it just keeps on going and that's how you build confidence over time. But your partner can help you that accountability for that first action step, because the hardest part of the confidence continuum is taking that first step, the hardest part. So I like to tell people like, get some accountability behind that first step, have somebody support you, chris. So he just said like I spoke in front of 7000 people at an arena and I'm about to do it again, like next time, and it's like the biggest stage I've ever gotten.

Speaker 2:

The next one will be bigger the next one will probably be 14000 people.

Speaker 3:

I would have never gotten that stage if Chris didn't see to me hey, you should really reach out to XYZ about this person. And I was like, no, that's scary, I don't want to do that, I'm good.

Speaker 2:

Like.

Speaker 3:

I waited, I did, I resisted. And this is me, I resist every time. The first time, I always resist. And he's like should really reach out to this person about this and just ask. And I was like okay, and I waited, and I waited, and I waited and finally, I was like all right, take that stupid scary first action step. Dare the day. That's in the book too. I dare you. Dare the day, Dare the day. And I just did it and because of that I got the yes and that was life changing.

Speaker 3:

Because of what's coming, because it gave me a little bit of motivation now to make another ask that I got the yes and another ask and, like, the more that you make the ask, the less scary to ask whatever it is becomes, and so when you have accountability from your partner whether they're pushing you or they're supporting you or they're following up with you and asking you if you did it.

Speaker 3:

It is so helpful in taking that first scary step and I mean that's just how it works. And then, like I got and I bet you my resistance was I could never speak on a stage that big, like my resistance was part of like that. What if I do get the yes? What if he says yes to me and I do it? Oh my God, like. But there was the confidence continuum in action because he said I got the yes, I got the stage and I proved to myself that I could do it. And now, like, now it's going to be bigger and if it wasn't for him telling me you need to ask this person now, I don't know if I was what happened.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's really interesting Because what you're describing is a lot of what couples face when they think about being vulnerable, about something like sharing something with their partners, sharing their desire or, you know, asking for more of what they want or something. Is that vulnerability right? And so it's like taking that teeny tiny step, like you talk about, and then letting it. You know, keep being accountable, doing it again right. And then just keeping until they get momentum and like learning and that's how you're going to be big, massive shifts in your relationship is by taking that teeny tiny first step and holding yourself accountable. Or having a friend, keep you accountable. Or to have a coach, keep you accountable, right. So just do the thing and then do it again and then, like you you have, you start to build that confidence in yourself and in your relationship. So I know so good, the confidence continuum is a big framework in this book. That's really really good and applicable in a lot of different situations.

Speaker 1:

But here's something else you talk about in the book a lot, jen, is that you are an extreme introvert and I believe that you are too, chris, right, you guys are introverted, right, and here you are both speaking on these massive stages, you basically network and teach others how to network for a living. You're consistently in the spotlight and needing to be on at all times, so my question for both of you is how do you protect your energy and recharge, and what systems or I like to call them bumpers for my couples what bumpers do you have in place so that you aren't always depleted and like taking things out on each other?

Speaker 3:

Let me go. Well, sometimes we are taking things out, yeah, so like, well, just be real, or not?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that one of the things that we've found that is makes the biggest difference is if we have somebody to help protect our time or our energy. So what I mean by that is like, let's say, at our event we're constantly on, pretty much even if you're backstage we're on, because a lot of times you have to talk to the speakers, all this stuff. So maybe out of the whole day maybe there's 10% where you're not on. But by having someone, like our COO is very, very cognizant of who should be where, meaning if these people shouldn't be here, they're not going to be, so then they're not going to.

Speaker 2:

That like small talk or something like that can be like really depleting. So I think that that's one part For me, like it's. The other is so stupid. Like I just watch like a dumb show. I watched 90 day fiance. I'm on season 0, season five. Yeah, I'm deep into that show, like you know, oh my God, and I love it every second of it. So, but it helps me to just it for some reason, like that just helps me to just completely, just like shut off and I feel really good about my life. Yeah, but yeah.

Speaker 1:

Jen probably doesn't mess with that. She probably knows.

Speaker 2:

She's not as crazy like where.

Speaker 3:

I watched it because I know how important it is to him and it's not that important I can care either way, I just like.

Speaker 3:

I, so his happiness it's probably completely codependent I rely on. His happiness means a lot to me so I will, like that is so important. I know how much he loves 90 day fiance. I know how much he loves the ice cream I make him in the ninja creamy thing. Like I don't cook, I don't do anything like that, I don't clean you couldn't catch me doing. I make great reservations that but I don't do anything around the house. But there I do make him ice cream with this protein powder every single night and I feel like that's my active service and like love for him and we watch 90 day fiance and that's how he retarges for me.

Speaker 3:

I've been really open with him and communicating and you've been good about it lately. Like I need a day. So after this event I said to him I don't eat a week, I don't need three days, I don't need a vacation, I need one day where I can do whatever I want. I'm not expected to be around, I don't have to answer to anything. Like I can do whatever and you were very understanding of that. I'll give you the one day and then you need to come back. But yeah, like for me, protecting my energy means like I go in sprints and recovery time, so like if I know that I'm going to sprint, like an event is a sprint to me, like I knew I was going to sprint for four days and then, as long as I knew that, I had that one day on the other side, where I could recover.

Speaker 3:

It's like a mindset of like, it's almost like an athlete. Like you know you've got the game and when the game is over you can rest and I have that day that I look forward to. I get my day, I recover and then I'm like I love work, so like by the end of my recovery day I was already back from doing things I couldn't not.

Speaker 3:

It's so we love what we do so much that, yes, we're introverted and so like a lot of honest needs recovery. But it's also like teaching and being on stage. For me a joke or, chris, like I didn't even joke I was like, remember, when I got off stage, I was like I could literally be on stage for 24 hours straight and I wouldn't get tired. When I got off stage I would collapse. But like being on stage, we're doing what you love, like you, just it's. It feels easy and and that's easy for me, it's the, it's the onness of like when, like introversion, like when you're in a room and you're networking and you're making conversations with people. That is like I think I over exert myself and then I need to be by myself in order to recover.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's so good and I agree with you when you're doing what you love, it doesn't feel like work. But that brings up another question I'm sure a lot of people are wondering about, even if they've just met you here, because you've built this massive company together, you live together, you work together, you parent together, you run challenges all the things together, right? So how do you ensure that you're not only like Chris and Jen running Super Connector Media, chris and Jen parenting but also Chris and Jen lovers and best friends? How?

Speaker 2:

do we ensure that? Is that the question?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, like, how do you make sure that you're not just, you know, focusing all your time and attention on that Dates?

Speaker 2:

we go on a date at least once a week, seems like it's even more lately, right. Yeah, I mean, I think that's like a really important, really important one and being able to have rules about talking about business. No no, yeah, we like. We like coming up with ideas and okay.

Speaker 3:

So this is a misconception. I think people have like and I've learned this I used to think like oh my god, talking about work too much is bad. We need to force ourselves to just be couples.

Speaker 3:

But, one of the reasons we fell in love with each other is because we both are very driven and we love accomplishing and achieving and we love ideas and we love coming up with things and we love our business. And it's like I get excited talking to him about business, like we like that, and so if we couldn't connect on that, it would be weird. And one of the sexiest things to me is like when he's doing great stuff in business, like when I watch a movie or like do AI?

Speaker 3:

like I'm like, oh my god, so great, like if we were just on a date, like I mean, you're amazing as a human. But like some of the stuff that I love most about him, that's so attractive to me is like his ability to write an amazing email, like seriously, like that's cool and sexy, and his how great he is on stage and how funny he is and how, like, just how he works the room is. It's part of our relationship and so when we go on date nights, we allow ourselves to go there now and it's fine.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, no, I love that. I have a friend who she says I just want to lick my husband's brain when I see him doing what like what he's best at. That's true, like it's like a good thing, like if you, we are attracted by seeing our partner in their element, right, and so for the two of you, you connect on that and that's great. I hope you don't ever like really lick his brain, but I mean I get that.

Speaker 2:

I get that Crazy visual yeah.

Speaker 1:

I feel that way about my husband. I just sometimes I just want to lick his brain. So here's another question how do you guys make really big decisions when it comes to running the company or like where to go on date night or vacation? Like, do you have a way to settle disagreements when one of you wants one thing and the other has a very different opinion about it?

Speaker 3:

Sometimes we just don't settle the agreement. Like we had an agreement.

Speaker 2:

We had this agreement about where to go to a restaurant last night and we just didn't go out to eat.

Speaker 3:

We couldn't settle the agreement, we were just about our relationship.

Speaker 2:

We will never come out, we just decided yeah, we just I went and did something else, and then it was fine, and then B came here.

Speaker 3:

We just like couldn't decide, so we just didn't. But with big decisions, well, how do we make big decisions?

Speaker 2:

Well, we decided and then we'll run it by our CEO, but I feel like if it's already decided, it's you decide.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, you decide. Yeah, I default to him a lot and I do with decisions. He's the CEO of the company and I would rather it that way because I don't like making big decisions like that. I'll help, for sure. But also one thing that we do do is I'm really good at remembering when we made a wrong decision last time and like reeling him back in. So sometimes, crystal, oh, we should do this, and I'm like do you remember when we did that last time and it did not work? Like, let's learn from that what we did. Then I'll bring that into the decision making process.

Speaker 2:

And sometimes I'll be like oh you're right. Yep Exactly.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so business decisions were pretty good at personal decisions.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes we just like it's happened yeah screw it when we think that you guys do really well is journal, Because I think that helps to kind of make decisions like remember, you know, like the lessons you've learned from past decisions, things like that. So if we're like bringing out things for people to learn from you guys, I think journaling is a practice that you guys have that's really, really valuable.

Speaker 2:

Definitely.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I love journaling. I like I mean the. It's my favorite thing is I reading back. So like I read back to we're moving up all of our stuff and I'm reading all these old journals and like the journal that I had when I met him and like reading back to like our first day, and reading back to like what I said the morning that I was going to go on that walk, and it was like I'm so grateful I'm at my husband today. I didn't know I was going to meet, I didn't know, and then it was like I'm grateful I had a good time with Chris today. Like I was like two separate lines, like it's just so cool to look back. And it's so cool to look back on. Like you know what I love about journaling what I was worried about a year ago and I was so worried and so anxious and it was so scary.

Speaker 3:

And I'll look back at my journal and I was, oh my gosh, beside myself or we were fighting or we were arguing or something wasn't right and I was so upset and I'm like what was this? I don't even know, it doesn't even matter anymore. And that checks me Like if some, if I'm making a big deal about something now. It's not going to matter a year from now. I'm not even going to remember. So who do I want to be in this moment, right now?

Speaker 3:

That's how journaling really helps me, not necessarily be active doing it, but reading back later, like oh, perspective yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so good. And that question, jen, is a really important question too is who do I want to be in this moment? Because that's a really great way to ensure that you're showing up in your marriage in an intentional way and not just in that. You know wounded child's, you know past, like you were talking about the beginning. Chris is like you know, you didn't get to see the example really well, and so you created a lot of adaptations and you thought to yourself I'm not good at relationships, right?

Speaker 1:

But, you always get to choose and moving forward. When you know better, you do better, and so you can always ask that question who do I want to be right now, in this moment? Does it matter what I've seen? Does it matter, like all those things? You learn the skillsets, just like any other skillset, and then you get to intentionally choose. So I love, love, love that. So good, all right. So this is something I unfortunately see in a lot of relationships and it causes a lot of resentment and pain. So if you're listening to this episode and you're feeling called to something huge, chris and Jen's words are in your feeling. Like Chris and Jen's words are giving you some hope and encouragement, but you're still a little nervous about sharing that big dream. I want you to message me on any social platform Instagram, facebook, linkedin. The word support.

Speaker 2:

And.

Speaker 1:

I'm going to give you a link to purchase Jen's book Be Seen, which is like an incredible resource if you're ready to get your, your idea, your message, your big thing out into the world. But I'm also going to send you a resource that I've created called the seven tips to get more support from your spouse, so I hope that those things should work with you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, for sure. So I hope that those are conversation, feel really seen and supported, especially if you have a big, great goal or dream that you're ready to manifest. So my closing question for you guys is this if you had the undivided attention of everyone in the entire world for just a few minutes, what is the most important thing you could teach them about building their personal brand so they can be seen without sacrificing their most important relationship, which is their marriage?

Speaker 2:

I teach them how to use AI and the story.

Speaker 1:

Yes, that's important.

Speaker 2:

Jen will give you a more nice answer, but that's what I would do, I would say stop waiting for it to be perfect and just do it.

Speaker 3:

And that just for everything, for everything, because I was waiting to be perfect before I could find my partner. And I found my partner when I was definitely imperfect and he loved me for all of my imperfections and still does. And you have to start. Before you're ready to start must be able to start imperfectly and if you wait for the perfect time to start your brand or social media or anything that you're doing in your business.

Speaker 3:

you're never going to start and start. The messy start is what actually ends up giving you the clarity that you need as you go and in the relationship. So come as you are, so good, oh good, anything else.

Speaker 1:

I feel like you have something to say there, chris.

Speaker 2:

I think I mean the thing that I would always say is you know, just get started. Like Jen said, I think that that's the, that's where it all comes down to. I was actually on a podcast earlier and they were asking me you know, what are the, what are some of the secrets? But I think that one of the biggest ones is just consistency. You know the more, and I think that that helps in business, it helps in relationships. You know, if you show up consistently as this type of person you're, you know as a good person, or you know, your relationship is probably going to be pretty good if you're in with the right person. So yeah, start before you're ready For sure.

Speaker 2:

Yes, what's the other thing?

Speaker 3:

Is that this too shall pass. You know, like this conference conference, I know I honestly like that's what gets me through absolutely everything is the concept that, like I'm, going to end up in my bedroom. Like so I'm in it, like if you're in a difficult moment, like it's difficult for you to post or you know to share something with your partner, or like have a hard conversation.

Speaker 3:

Know that either way, whether you have a conversation or if you post online or if you don't, doesn't matter, the day's still going to end. So the person that you are when you end up in your bed at night, like how do you want to feel? Do I want to feel like I really should have told them that thing that I really wanted to tell them today it was another day that went by that I didn't tell them that thing or do you want to be like I did the hard thing? I did it and now we can move on, and now we're one step closer to our bro. So that's another thing that I'm always reminding myself. Of that I'd like to remind you.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, beautiful, and that's beautiful. Yes, beautiful, and ultimately important, because I really do think that when people get to the end of their lives, that more of the pain and regret comes from the things that they didn't do like, the things that they didn't talk about, the things that they, you know, held so close and, you know, missed the opportunity to become the best version of themselves and together as a couple.

Speaker 2:

So and I would highly recommend this before you go. If somebody wants to have a better relationship, they want to then have that relationship. Help them in business because they feel good. You should talk to Monica. We've seen firsthand the results of that, so just take our word for that.

Speaker 1:

I appreciate that more than you know. Thank you so much for your time today. Tell the audience or my listeners where they can find you, learn more about you, connect with you, learn from you, get a copy of Be Seeing all the things.

Speaker 3:

Well for me be seeing bookcom for the book and anywhere really that you get your books, and Instagram, where I hang out at Jen underscore about me and find out everything.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, same Chris Winfield, pretty much on every social network, but mostly Instagram.

Speaker 1:

Awesome. Thank you, guys, so so much. If you had as much fun as we did just now, I hope that you'll head over to your favorite podcast player and leave a rating and review for the show or share it on social media. That's how other people can find this awesome content and we can spread the message that happily ever after is possible. Feel free to check out my website, monica Tanner dot com, to find out more ways you can work with me and, as always, thank you so much for spending this time with me. We'll see you next week.